5 things you need for good sex

I’m no expert in the subject by the way, I’m still learning, some days more then others =)

1. a clean conscious
Who wants to have worries? Fear? If you are afraid of something, address it immediately. Don’t worry about letting someone else down, take a moment and talk about it. Rejection, pregnancy, STDs, fantasy, desires, annoyances, something that makes you uncomfortable, cumming, orgasms, plans for the future, whatever is on your mind, obscure, gross, petty or looming. Just take a Deep Breath and put it out there. The more plain and straight forward the better.
You’d think that this would be a simple and blithely obvious stickler, but in the midst of things, it can be moronically easy to shove these ‘trivialities’ into the darker corners and pay them no heed.
It’ s NOT worth it. It doesn’t matter how badly you think it will turn out, or if you believe it will ruin the moment. It’s better sooner then later, and the longer you carry it around inside of you the more trouble is going to come of it.

2. a clean body
Surely there is no end to the different practices of sex. Some of us desire to be strong and unbreakable, some of us want to be loved, some of us want to be hurt, some battered, and some enshrined. Some want to be coveted, some of us want to be beautiful, some want release and some of us maybe want to just feel happy. I think I want all of these things sooner or later, but most consistently, what i desire is to be taken away. I want to be swept up and out of myself.
it just so happens that It’s MUCH easier to be swept off your feet when you smell nice. Things you can do. Take a shower, take a bath. Enjoy your shower and your bath knowing that you’re building up to something extra wonderful. Wash your hair! Soap! Use soap! Scrub your skin, a washcloth for the gentlefolk, (i like pumice!), a rough rock, a back brush or a shower scrubby. Lavish yourself! Wake up all those nerve endings, make sure they’re ready for a trip.
Oils and smoke. For most people, this will be everything and more then you could imagine! Nothing builds up to the truly erotic like a little living oil. Olive or Coconut oils are easy to find, smell delicious, and will give your skin a vibrant intensity. Smudge yourself, sage, lavender, sweetgrass, marijuana if you please. Especially get your hair, it will last the longest. Take a few moments to enjoy yourself, and think how much more fun you can have now that everybody is going to want to snuggle right up close to you! If you don’t like smudges or smoke try essential oils. A dab of eucalyptus or ginger on the neck or the wrists will last a ways!

3. free time and open space
Don’t push things too close. Give yourself time before (during), and after. Lots and lots of time. Open space is wonderful too. If your house is a mess, go outside, the more open space the better. If it’s winter time, just pack it up and head over to a friend’s instead…or alternately clean your house :P
It’s hard to escape if you are surrounded by your artifacts of daily living. If you wish, keep a mindful space somewhere for sexual play. Whether it’s your room, the couch, or the (sturdy) kitchen table, pick a place you enjoy being around, something that appeals to you. Spend time with your space when you aren’t in a sexual mood too, bring it gifts, and whisper nice things in it’s ears.

4. a close friend (or two)
Only you can truly be the judge of whom you wish to share the pleasures with. Nobody else is qualified to decide for you. That being said, we all have our opinions! I’m of the opinion that sex is best and most rewarding with someone whom you have strong relationships with outside of sex. Truly and utterly the key here seems to be someone you are comfortable with. If you don’t feel comfortable, don’t have sex. If you have reservations, talk about them or don’t have sex. If you are afraid, discuss your fear, or don’t have sex.

5. easy come, easy go
Sex isn’t something that can be defined on a piece of paper, my blog, or in a psychologist’s medical dictionary. It’s an experience, and it’s your experience, none the less. So, while the first four points are good suggestions, ultimately the strongest and most powerful tool you have is yourself. Trust yourself, listen to your feelings, they are happening for a reason, even if it isn’t immediately clear.
If you are willing to accept your mistakes, and forgive others’ the same…you have the whole wide world spread graciously before you.

Do you enjoy sex in the same way that you once did? Has it changed for you? Do you have any really strong experiences that stand out, if so…what do you think contributed to such a thing? Please share with us! We’d all love to hear about you!